I’ve been trying to get into jrpgs lately, and failed a few times over. Usually get about 30 hours in and I can’t push through, and bail. Then I get another on a steam sale and I’m back at it. Rinse and repeat. It’s like it’s nearly impossible to complete a 60+ hour game in your thirties…

Time is not the only issue though, I find after about 15 hours of slaying monsters and simping after some waifu, I get this nagging feeling, an itch in the back of brain that used to say “shouldn’t you be doing something better with your time?”, but recently has switch to “Real life is kinda of an rpg already, so why aren’t you playing that game?”

Like the progress I make is siloed to that story and to that game, the more I invest myself, the return on any time outside of the game is (at best) neutrally effected, and more often makes rl worse in the way a house plant wilts when you don’t water it. Like spending 8 hours on a Saturday isn’t going to kill my life outside of whatever game has it’s talons in me, but certainly ain’t helping either.

I know this sounds like some gamify-your-life-productivity-hack-for-supreme-efficiency-broooo type shit, but I think there’s more than that too it.

I’ve always wanted to live in a ghibli movie, wanted to be just some ghilbi-ass NPC that is grateful for the life I have. Like that woman that just sketches birds in Kiki’s. Never want to be the hero, but definitely want to be your favourite quest giver. A romance-able option at best.

So that’s where I’ve been at lately. Just stuck at the character creator screen aged-locked to 35 trying to pick my class and ~vibe~ wondering what the hell it looks like to RPG your life into a cozy sim. At least Tom Nook adequately prepared me for the crushing weight of capitalism.